Previously unpublished Draft:

It's so hard to wait for the love I want so bad, but for now I will work on myself. So i can be the best person I can be when I finally meet that person.


I am not yet half enough to make us a whole.

~M

Previously unpublished Draft:

Exhaustion:



The poetry of longing was all I had
and now it's just fading into pathetic. I'm so tired of missing you. 
And I mean TIRED;
Physically and mentally drained.

I see and feel and hear and taste and smell you in everything.

Clip after clip after clip after clip after clip of memories,
Playing over and over and over and over and over again.


~M

.

Previously unpublished Draft:

For Where Life Has Taken Me:

I am always to be torn by polar opposites.
humility & arrogance

passivity & aggression
Sorrow & joy
Isolation & connection
Gratitude & my blind, insatiable
need for things to be better.

 No matter the context, these are always present.

always in endless disharmony.

In humility and arrogance I have found a humble confidence.
In passivity and aggression I have found assertive transparency.
In sorrow and joy I have found beauty in all things.
In isolation and connection I have found I desperately need both.
In gratitude & my insatiable nature I have found only more gratitude.
and here I am, overwhelmingly grateful.

This disharmony is no battle.

These things--Arrogance, sorrow, joy, isolation, etc.--  will always be a part of me, but will never be me.


~M



 

.

Previously unpublished Draft:

This is yours:


Your suffering is beautiful and important.

.

Previously unpublished Draft:

It's not my suffering, but my indifference that breaks my heart the most.

Previously unpublished Draft:

I'm trying to be better--to take care of my self in at least half of the "23 ways to live healthier & happier life."
But here I am, once again falling asleep with my clothes on. 

Previously unpublished Draft:

I write this as an excuse you will never read.



Surrounded by beauty and all I can think of is how I''m fucking up.