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A rough cut; a grad speech:

Twelve years we are done. We have each fought our own battle and some of us barely made it. Scraping up credits and making up our attendance on the last of days. trying so hard just to pull our crap together and graduate. Others sailing through AP exams and finals with straight A's and Collegial scholarships. Others on the in-between. But no matter how you got here, you got here, and congratulations are in order. We've made it; Class of 2012. 

The only problem now is knowing where to go from here; I mean this is the rest of our lives. When it comes down to it, all meaning is man-made. We were the ones in charge of assigning value to gravel and gold, coal and diamonds, love and life. All things that have been made great, we have made great. We are the ones with the price guns and it is up to us to put a value on our lives.

How much is it worth to you?

We're leaving the safe waters of our harbor and venturing into the storm. We are doing this and we are alone, and I hope you know what you want. Not what you need, that's easy, but what you want. That is what will define our futures, it's everything; your compass, your ores, your sales, and your hull, your whole. With out knowing that your ship will sink.

So build with all you have, beg and steal and scratch and claw. Do what you have to get your ship afloat. Then raise your sails, set off, and pray with everything in your heart it wont fall apart. And hope, if it does, you will have the strength to start over.

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Want 

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|wänt; wônt|verb1 [ trans. ] have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for : I want an apple | [with infinitive ] we want to go to the beach | [ trans. ] she wanted me to go to her room | [intrans. ] I'll give you a lift into town if you want.• wish to consult or speak to (someone) : Tony wants me in the studio.• (usu. be wanted) (of the police) desire to question or apprehend (a suspected criminal) : he is wanted by the police in connection with an arms theft.• desire (someone) sexually : I've wanted you since the first moment I saw you.• [with present participle ] informal chiefly Brit. (of a thing) require to be attended to in a specified way : the wheel wants greasing.• [with infinitive ] informal ought, should, or need to do something : you don't want to believe everything you hear.• [ intrans. ] ( want in/into/out/away) informal desire to be in or out of a particular place or situation : if anyone wants out, there's the door.2 [ intrans. ] chiefly archaic lack or be short of something desirable or essential : you shall want for nothing while you are with me. See note at lack .• [ trans. ] (chiefly used in expressions of time) be short of or lack (a specified amount or thing) : it wantedtwenty minutes to midnight | it wants a few minutes offive o'clock.noun1 chiefly archaic a lack or deficiency of something :Victorian houses which are in want of repair | it won't be through want of trying.• the state of being poor and in need of essentials; poverty : freedom from want.2 a desire for something : the expression of our wants and desires.PHRASESfor want of because of a lack of (something) : for want of a better location we ate our picnic lunch in the cemetery.ORIGIN Middle English : the noun from Old Norse vant, neuter of vanr ‘lacking’ ; the verb from Old Norse vanta[be lacking.] The original notion of “lack” was early extended to “need,” and from this developed the sense[desire.].
"Don't Wait."
~M

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~M

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Ambition 

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|amˈbi sh ən|

nouna strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work : her ambition was to become a model | he achieved his ambition of making a fortune.• desire and determination to achieve success : life offered few opportunities for young people with ambition.ORIGIN Middle English : via Old French from Latin ambitio(n-), from ambire ‘go around (canvassing for votes).’
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It comes and goes, and right now i just can't.
I just want to move very far away and live very alone.
~M

Draft - 4/24/12

"

No matter what the doctors say, you have the strongest heart of anyone I know,

They just don't know how hard it works to keep you going. 

"

Kyle's heart has a mermer and will give out someday. They'll put a piece if a pig heart--maybe a valve or something-- to keep it going and he'll, like he always has, continue to push through with what he's got; awkwardly, apologetically, zealously, passionately. 

~M

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She's an unwelcome shudder on the worst of her days

And despite the bad moods, she won't go away

She's as stubborn as winter and as kind as the sun

And she won't freeze or burn anyone

On most days she drives me home, out of her way

And when I say "Drive safe" I mean it, today

Because I'm a tough luck friend

I'll reckon she'll stay with me, til the end

And it means more than I pretend

Her car's like a sauna made mostly of smoke

And it glides back to her's, mostly nights, like a ghost

And nothing is said unless it needs to be

I'll watch a movie, she'll fall asleep

She's one of those who when you're talking, you'll see

She's really listening to someone like me

Why was she listening to someone like me?

Because I'm a tough shit friend

And I'll reckon she'll stay with me til the end

And it means more than I pretend

And I know I'm awful, I can't even cry

It's about time I told her and looked in her eyes

"You're my best friend, I'll love you til one of us dies

You're my best friend, I'll love you til one of us dies

You're my best friend, I'll love you til one of us dies"

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I want you to ask me how I'm doing and I want to you know I'm not so well.


 

~M

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Keaton Henson - Small Hands from Keaton Henson on Vimeo.

Draft - 4/19/12

"

You shouldn't be reading into me, you should be reading into you.





I'm nothing to special.

"

I 'm digging through my drafts and unabashedly posting them one by one. 

Edits will be in red. 

Some need explaining. 

Some don't. 

Some I can't explain myself. 

This isn't really a strong one to start on. 

~M