.

sleep:

.

It's like that morning-after-some-terrible-thing-happened sadness.

Like I stayed up the whole night wandering the streets and the sun's coming up and I'm thinking, "where the fuck am I? I should call a cab, i've got to go home."

Nothing's happened though. There's a little part of me, inside, that's freaking out-- ready to jump. But I feel okay, all that boils up is a kind-of blankness. 

I don't want to sleep, I just want to talk. I'm the last one out the door of class and I always manage to say something ridiculous and stupid to the teacher, who i don't know why i think he would give a shit, but hoping to start a conversation of any kind. I'm never ready to just go home lately, I'm not ready to call it a day.

Even dropped by Spencer's on my way home to talk nothings. He was with a girl, said i could come up and i did, though i just should've just gone home. I kept saying "There was something really important i needed to tell you, i just can't remember. I'll text you if i think of it," trying to convince myself there really was something i had to tell him.

Now I'm just up far too late and I'm just... i don't know-- feeling better now that I'm getting some of it out, I guess. Not like a couple days ago though. Sorry about that, it was a strange, sad morning. I didn't really understand what i did until my friend at work told me how sad it was. I don't know if I miss her or if I miss not being alone. 

You should come over though. Sleep on my floor with me, i've got work early, but we can 

get coffee and i'll take you home. Yeah?

~M

Thank you Ave.