.

_______________:

This all comes down on me. 

There is no greater hell than the suffering that one must endure entirely alone.

I'm breaking under the weight of your silence.



It feels like all day I've been stumbling around doubled over all day.
You've punched me right in my heart's stomach.

I'm desperate to ask,

"What the fuck?"

I know I know the answer though,
but I'll try and keep from asking 

because I don't know if I want to know that I know I know.
Because I know I can't carry that,
not right now.

I'm treading water and
I'm desperate to tell you,

"I'm drowning out here.
I'm so alone
and I'm drowning 

out here."

Your silence is torture.

"Can you hear me?

Do you see what I carry?

It's wrapped around my neck and pulling me down.

I'm dying out here."

And from the shore, you see my arms in the air
and mid sentence, you wave back

 then you politely rejoin your conversation,
happy to see I'm having fun.



~M