.

There will always be people in your life that will remind not only of how good you are, but also how good you want to be. 

~M

.

“Here. Here is simple and happy. That's what I meant to give you.”

.

It really should have been perfect, but I'm not and you're not and that's becoming less and less okay. 

 It's just that you were looking out the widow of the apartment that I was pretending to be mine at 

what should have been a warm and slow sunrise over the city, but

It was just gray and it kind-of felt like

the morning had only picked up 

where yesterday left off.

You skipped the "good morning" and you

 said something like, "I'll never get sick of this view."

And I remember thinking 

I wish I loved you more.

With your socks you never not wear and your 

messy new haircut and the how good even this morning
looks with you in it, framed half-naked in the view 

that is not mine, but that I borrow sometimes, 

that I need sometimes--I wish I loved you more. 

But I don't love you, and I'm not sorry that

I can't, but I'm sorry I wont.

~M

.

There's a whole word inside of me, but i'm just so tired. 

.

All True things:

"My car is gray, the sky is blue, and you're too hard on yourself."

-

~M

.

“I’m sorry for laughing out of place.
I tend to feel awkward and laughing is my way of evading the incoming silence.
I know I’m weird sometimes.
Well, a lot of the time.
But since my normal quiet self didn’t fit in, I decided to try something different.
I guess this isn’t working either.
I apologize for staring.
Believe me, there are many thoughts going through my head that I just can’t put into sentences and before I know it, I get lost in the fear of saying something wrong and then don’t say anything at all.
I’m not the best looking guy around. 
I get wrinkles on my forehead, I get pimples in the weirdest places, and I’m shorter than I’d like to be.
I’m quite soft spoken.
If I’m raising my voice it’s more or less to not be such an outcast, than it is to really get my point across.
I have a tendency to sing, usually when I think no one is listening.
If you pay attention to what I sing, you may learn a bit of my story.
I sleep and daydream a lot.
Sometimes it’s because I’m tired, or bored.
Other times it’s for a temporary escape
If I’m devoted to something, eating just may come second. 
So please don’t get mad if I’m not eating lunch with you from time to time.
I write a lot of poetry.
But as of late I’ve been looking at the world through broken windows; they cracked under the pressure of holding things in just like my heart did and no matter how much I write about love, truly I’m afraid of it, afraid of messing up somehow.
I have a tendency of making things like this piece of writing longer than they need to be.
I guess what I’m trying to say is..
I’m sorry for being a mess.”

maxwelldpoetry, “To The Ones Who Deal With Me Daily”

.

Incandescence: 

They say It's always the nice one's that get burned.

So burn.

.

It will hurt in every moment of every day.
Sometimes it will reduce to a smolder  and you will become
gently numb to the pain and 
life will be beautiful.

Sometimes it will swallow you up.
Sheets of flames and smoke and heat too thick to see through.
It will bring you to your knees and 
still life will be beautiful.

It will be beautiful
because you are giving the world 
and yourself
light.
~M



"...so I pulled my heart out and placed it in a lantern."

.

"I'm sorry about me":

Torture is having seen yourself at your best and having to deal constantly with yourself at less; feeling like you constantly need to live up to that and how exhausting that is; how you're constantly letting yourself down; how you feel the need to constantly apologize for yourself; feeling like a stranger in your own head; all your decisions are no longer between "right and wrong" but now between "wrong and hopefully less wrong".

I'm sorry, I'm a mess and you can't see it It's all you can see.

I am beautiful, I just don't know when or how.

Maybe you'll see it some day.

I hope you see it one day.

~M